Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Awkward

I went for a run on Saturday.
Requisite runner feet picture. Kinda.
It was more of a walk-run, since it was day one of my Couch-to-5K app, but nonetheless I went out and there was running involved for the first time since July 2014. I was unexpectedly home from work early yesterday, so I went out for day two of the C25K app.

I felt so awkward both times.

It's not necessarily that I've forgotten how to run, but more that I'm a lot more aware of my body and how it moves through space (i.e. proprioception) and possibly also that I feel rather inelegant, plodding along at approximately 38 pounds heavier than I prefer to be. The latter doesn't bother me all that much right now because I won't always be that much heavier.

But the former? That's a little harder for me. It was brought to my attention by multiple people that my knees frequently collapse inward (go Google "valgus knees" if you are really curious and have no idea what I'm talking about) when they should be tracking straight. It's more common in women and definitely a behavior that's reinforced by society. Correcting it requires me to think about and pay attention to it while I'm walking and running, which makes me feel weird, like I'm waddling.

If you're wondering why I care about something so seemingly small, the ultimate answer is that I want to be able to run and not get hurt. Gone are the days of me just heading out the door without giving an ounce of forethought how I actually move my body through space. Ignorance was bliss at the time, but two rounds of PT and several books by Katy Bowman later I know better.  Which means, I should do and be better no matter how awkward it makes me feel.