Tuesday, June 9, 2015

On Motherhood

Let's start this out by stating the obvious: no one (in their right mind, that is) has ever said that parenting is easy. But before I gave birth, I was under the delusion that I'd just be a natural at it, you know having read every article and book ever, and that I'd just know what to do. I figured I'd just sort of slide right into the role with graceful ease and not even miss my prebaby life. My pregnancy was so uncomplicated that I was lulled into a false sense of preparedness.

Um, you guys, I was totally wrong. I have no idea why I think I'd ever do anything gracefully. I'm a Grade A klutz.

Nothing about this transition has been easy.

Actually, hold up, that's a big fat lie. My relationship with Eric has been easy. He's been completely awesome. See, I have proof!
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Normally I wouldn't share this because he deserves his privacy, but I just want everyone to know that he's been great. It's the only graceful and easy transition that has happened in the last 10 weeks.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss sleeping through the night. I can tell you the precise date of the last time I slept through the night and it was March 28th, 2015. And I'm sure that I'll be able to tell you the precise date of when I sleep through the night again.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss how easy life without baby was. If I wanted to go to Reformer or Zumba, I went without a second thought. I didn't worry about whether Eric could be home in time.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss sitting quietly in the morning, sipping my coffee and eating my oatmeal in peace.

But missing all of that stuff? I've finally realized that it's completely normal, though that fact has had to be drilled into my head by my husband. See, he's done wonders to keep me grounded in reality. It's been far too easy for me to fall into a negative thought cycle lately, and I've been trying to balance that out by being grateful for the little things.

Now I rejoice every time Cecilia sleeps just a little bit longer. Hot damn people! We had a six-hour stretch last night! I also realize that this is very good and some babies are still sleeping erratically at 10 weeks of age.

Now I'm grateful that my husband understands and helps me to get that important one hour escape necessary for my mental wellbeing.

Now I enjoy sitting down with my oatmeal while my daughter learns how to swat at things and smile at me on her play mat.

Now I look forward to every Thursday morning when I can go walking in the park with my friend.

Now my favorite part of our bedtime routine is having a "conversation" with Cecilia after I've changed her into her jammies.

And mostly, I'm grateful for how healthy and smiley this little munchkin can be:

A photo posted by Sarah Pickett (@mysqrl) on