Thursday, December 31, 2015

DietBet Transformer: Month 3

Initial Weigh-In: 175.8
Beginning of Round 1 Weigh-In: 167.5 lbs
End of Round 1 Weigh-In: 162.0
End of Round 2 Weigh-In: 155.8
End of Round 3 Weigh-In: 153.0
Total Loss: 22.8

This month was a dietary slog. I knew it would be with so many food-based events, but I managed to pull through. On the bright side, it means I got a break from all the recipes that I was sick of and now they can go back into the rotation. Next week's menu is already planned and my groceries have all been obtained. Month 4, here we go!

I have been plugging along with my C25K app buuuut my butt is acting up again. My goal for this month is to put my C25K app on hold, maintain my 25 minutes straight, work on correctives and some self-myofascial releases in my tight areas: neck, shoulder and hips.

Cecilia Picture
You know, just because.

Cecilia and Mommy: 9 Months

Time is flying and I can't even believe that Cecilia's first birthday is only three months away. She's such a goof with a fun personality. She's definitely a little mischief maker. This month's story will definitely illustrate that.

Story time!
I was lying down in the playroom, not feeling super great. Cecilia was playing nearby and content by herself for the moment. After a few minutes, I realized it was quiet. Too quiet. I looked up and there was no baby in the playroom. I freaked out a little bit and launched myself off the floor, darting out the baby gate that I realized I had left slightly ajar. To my left, I found Cecilia sitting on the landing of our stairs, looking mighty pleased with herself for having escaped and climbed four stairs without supervision. I quickly scooped her up and snuggled her close, trying to calm my racing heart. I suppose this incident is some sort of karma for my own baby escapades.

I want to see the Christmas tree, Mama. 

No Daddy, take the mean Totoro away!

  • All books, but not read to her, she wants to flip the pages by herself
  • Her straw sippy cup - I'm inordinately pleased that she was so receptive to the straw sippy cup.
  • Pears and any mixes with pears in them, still
  • Sitting with Mommy at breakfast time to get bites of blueberries
  • Playing "Where's Cecilia?" (i.e. peek-a-boo) with the curtain next to her changing table
  • Unrolling the toilet paper from the roll (SIGH.)
  • Charlie
  • Babbling
  • Making car noises (b-rrroom)
  • Mister Lamby
  • The Christmas tree 
  • Standing on her own!
  • Climbing the stairs (argh noo, too soon baby, too soon!)

  • Having her nails trimmed - this is a strong hate, and it sounds like the worst form of baby torture
  • Teething - it's the worst.
Basic Baby Stats
  • Weight: 16lbs 9.8oz (+1 lb 9.8 oz)
  • Length: 28.75" (+2.25")
  • Head Circumference: 44.5 cm (+1 cm)

I'm boring this month. I don't have all that much to say except that I feel as if I am being ordered around by a tiny dictator now.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months
3 Months
4 Months
5 Months
6 Months
7 Months
8 Months

Thursday, December 3, 2015

DietBet Transformer: Month 2

Initial Weigh-In: 175.8
Beginning of Round 1 Weigh-In: 167.5 lbs
End of Round 1 Weigh-In: 162.0
End of Round 2 Weigh-In: 155.8
Total Loss: 20
I forgot to paint my toenails. Sorry, not sorry.

I made great progress this month. I learned from my mistake; no more stir fry week, more like one stir fry of appropriate protein per week instead. I'm getting a little tired of the Cook's Illustrated cookbook that I linked in my previous post, however. One can only make the same dishes for so many months in a row! I do have two Cooking Light cookbooks that I'm going to have to pull off the shelf and pore over.

As far as this upcoming month goes, I'm not overly worried about office treats and other festive food-based gatherings because I only work three days a week. It's so much easier to avoid treats when you aren't physically present.

I'm still plugging along through the C25K app that I bought forever ago. I've only got a couple more weeks left on it, but I think that I'm going to buy the 10K app after I finish. At this point, my only fitness exercise goal is to just do it (while wearing my Nike gear). I'm not focusing on any numbers (pace, weight lifted, time, etc) because all my energy is directed towards keeping the diet aspect on target. I learned long ago (like four years ago, when I posted about it but I can't find that post...) that if I spread my resources too thin across multiple simultaneous goals that I achieve nothing.

Well, since I did it last time, I figure why not do it again. Here's a Cecilia picture at the end of the post:

DietBet Transformer: Month One

Monday, November 30, 2015

Cecilia and Mommy: 8 Months Old

Up until a couple of weeks ago, she wasn't really very interested in food; it would take us well over a week to go through a little pouch. Now we're going through pouches every 2-3 days! She also cracks me up by following me to where I'm sitting with my breakfast and climbing into my lap, then waiting for me to feed her some squishy wild blueberries from my oatmeal. I suspect at some point, she'll even be interested in the actual oatmeal part.
Mom! I love Nutsy!

She is getting stronger and more coordinated every week and I have a sneaking suspicion she will be standing on her own within the next month. She's mastered getting from standing to sitting instead of getting stuck standing and crying at me to help. She only needs one hand to balance herself while standing now and she rarely falls over at this point.
Hi Mom! This is fun!

Alright lady with the weird black thing, fun time is over.
I'm out of here and I'm taking Nutsy with me.

I've been reading Babble's Brilliant Baby series for the last couple of months and this month had a week (34, to be exact) about establishing baby's temperament. I thought it'd be fun to answer the questions for Cecilia so that I can go back and look at this post some day far in the future.

Activity level: Is she very active, not so active, or somewhere in between?
I would say that she is very active, as she is constantly on the go.

Rhythmicity: Is she regular or irregular in regards to basic biological functions?
Teeth and upset stomachs aside, she wakes up at roughly the same time every day no matter what I do (5-5:30AM).

Approach-withdrawal: Does she seem to enjoy new situations or is she slow-to-warm-up?
She is undoubtedly slow-to-warm-up. She would much rather sit and observe a new situation before making any decisions about it. When I took her to Wegmans to shop for Thanksgiving, several people commented that she was "so serious."   She's not a smiley baby in new situations!

Adaptability: How rapidly does the novelty of a new situation or person wear off?
I'm not really sure how to answer this question. I would guess at this point, that the novelty of new situations and people don't wear off very quickly. She spent a lot of time staring at her uncle on Thanksgiving.

Intensity of reaction: When she is hungry, how intense are her wails?
Intense. They've always been intense. She's a lot like her mom (hangry!) when she needs to be fed.

Quality of mood: Does she seem generally negative or positive?
I think she seems generally neutral but leans towards grumpiness more often than pleasantness. It's really very situational and this a really hard question to answer at this age.

Distractibility: How easily does a new activity disrupt one that’s been ongoing?
It is frustratingly easy to distract Cecilia. I've been unable to feed her successfully outside of the house when there are new things to look at and sometimes feeding her inside the house when there are new things to look at is difficult.

Persistence: What’s the extent to which an activity, once undertaken, is maintained?
I'm pretty sure it depends on the activity. If she's trying to get something I don't want her to have, then she is extremely persistent. If I'm folding clothing in the same room as her, and she sees some folded clothing that interests her, I have to stop folding clothes just to focus on keeping her from unfolding all my hard work. I'll usually remove the basket from the room but if I put it too near the baby gate, she'll just crawl over and try to get it through the gate.

Level of sensitivity: How intense does a sensory stimulus (lights, noise, or activity) need to be for your child to respond?
I would say what an adult would consider an intense stimulus (loud noises, bright lights, etc. etc.) causes her to respond in a displeased fashion. I mean, she'll turn her head at new loudish noises in the house but mostly just to see what's going on.

  • Peas on Earth
  • Sipping through a straw - it took about three weeks but she has finally mastered sipping and swallowing!
  • Pears and any mixes with pears in them
  • Pumpkin pie bites at Thanksgiving
  • Sitting with Mommy at breakfast time to get bites of blueberries
  • Following Mommy everywhere she goes
  • Charlie, as usual.
  • Making weird and often creepy noises still
  • Hanging upside down in Mommy's arms
  • Pulling herself up on everything but most especially the dishwasher when it's open
  • Fingerpainting the floor with her spit-up (ughhhh)

  • Naps
  • Turkey
  • Teething - I hate it too.

I thought and thought (and thought) about this and I really have nothing to put here. Life is pretty balanced again, even with the occasional reduction in sleep at night.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months
3 Months
4 Months
5 Months
6 Months
7 Months

Monday, November 23, 2015

What Works For Me

If you Google "maintaining a healthy weight", you'll get a get a myriad of answers that focus primarily on a person's relationship with food and exercise. Undoubtedly, that's important to an extent but I think, and at least personally, that's not the largest piece of the weight loss and maintenance puzzle.

Everything that I'm about to write about is a skill, just like anything else you use your brain to do. It's something that has to be practiced and refined, tweaked and tailored. It's difficult at first but the more you use it and the more varied experiences you have using it, the better you become at it.

Is it worth it?

Back in 2009, when I had a Stickk contract to help me lose weight, I frequently asked myself if eating something was worth the possible loss of money that it could cause. By doing this, it helped take the focus off the desire for instant gratification that eating a treat (usually sweet and/or bready) would provide. Over time, this question evolved and the money portion dropped out; it's become more "Is this temporary and fleeing feeling of satisfaction adding or detracting from my overall life satisfaction?" This is a lengthy question to be asking yourself in the moment, but it generally works well.

I've noticed that the indulgent food I find worth it has an accompanying experience that saying no to would detract my overall satisfaction. The food on the Alaskan cruise that Eric and I took is an excellent example of this principle. Each and every one of those meals, indulgent though they were, were absolutely worth it.

Out of sight, out of mind.

As I'm sure anyone who works in an office knows, office areas are filled with people who have candy on their desks and bring in sweet treats year round. Having a strategy (or two) to deal with these situations is important because it helps you make better decisions in the moment.

My strategy for dealing with the random office candy is generally to just avoid it at all costs but if a particular type calls out to me, I will take one piece and return to my desk. I put the piece in my desk drawer out of sight and leave it there for twenty minutes. If after those twenty minutes have elapsed and I haven't forgotten about the candy, I'll eat it. Most of the time work distracts me from the candy and I forget I even put it in my desk drawer.

Deprivation is the enemy.

The moment that I start outlawing specific foods is the selfsame moment that I start fixating on obtaining them. I believe that moderation is key, but moderation looks different for everyone. I have a problem (as in, spoon in the jar) with the dark chocolate peanut butter by Peanut Butter and Company, so my version of moderation is to have it maybe once every two to three months. It's not outlawed but since I know that I can't control myself very well around it I just don't get it as often. I've essentially tricked myself into thinking that I could have it whenever I want but I'm actively choosing not to. I'm not sure that even makes sense but hopefully someone gets it!

Be a role model.

Lately, I've been asking myself if something that I'm doing is what I'd want to see Cecilia do because copying parental behaviors is what kids do best. So, my goal is to create a relationship with the food in my life that withstands the scrutiny of one small, but growing human. I think that's the hardest part of this entire endeavor. She's my little blank slate. I don't want to be the one who gives her a complex about what she eats and I want to teach her how to enjoy food in a healthy way. The best way to do that is to be someone she can look up to.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Thanksgiving 2015: Making a Plan

Over the last two weeks, I've taken my meal plan from its initial stages into the last stages of planning.

I printed all of my recipes and assessed them for their ability to be made ahead of time.

I made a spreadsheet with all of the ingredients and totaled them up so that I could make my grocery list.

I recently noticed that Google has a little chart for popular times at Wegmans and that Thursday between 7-9 AM seemed extremely low-key. Since Cecilia is up between 5:30-6 AM every day, that seemed like a good window to hit the store before her morning nap.

Thus the tiny human and I and set out to obtain as much of my list as I could a week in advance.
So many things to look at!

Moooooom! Let me ooout! I want to help with the groceries.

See Mom! I'm helping! I took this lemon out of the bag for you!
Lastly, I made a timeline of tasks required for Thanksgiving dinner to happen.

If you're not comatose from food overload, check back next Thursday evening for photos from the day!

Previously: Thanksgiving 2015 Menu Planning

Monday, November 16, 2015

Milk Bar Birthday Layer Cake

Eric doesn't really like cake, so I thought it was a bit odd when he requested one specifically for his birthday.

I guess I shouldn't be that surprised since he's been drooling over the all the things on Goldbely for what feels like ages now. On my first pass through the recipe, my gut reaction was "holy ingredients batman!" After I got over that and watched the video I set about obtaining the only four things that we didn't already have on hand (uh, my pantry is well stocked, it seems):

  1. 6" Cake Round (affiliate link)
  2. 3" Acetate Roll (affiliate link) 
  3. Rainbow sprinkles!
  4. Clear Vanilla extract
Over the course of three days, and several very terrible naps on the tiny human's part, the cake came together.

Ultimately, I was surprised at how easy making this cake actually was. I would happily make it again and now that I have an enormous roll of acetate, I might even branch out and attempt to make my own chocolate peanut butter version come February.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Thanksgiving 2015: Menu Planning

You know, I don't think I've ever really talked about how much I love Thanksgiving. I've written about how to make it less stressful and how I have super cute earrings, but never about how much I actually enjoy the holiday.

So let it be known:  I love Thanksgiving.

I didn't love it as much when I started hosting it five years ago. I couldn't get anything timed correctly and none of my dishes would go out hot. However, I've finally gotten to a good place with my cooking skills and last year was well executed. It had to be because slaving over a kitchen stove at almost six months pregnant was not going to work for me. This year? It has to be even more well executed if that's possible because there will be an increasingly mobile almost-8 month old baby clambering about the house. I've been dilly-dallying with my menu planning and as I updated my tiny holiday countdown numbers on our kitchen whiteboard, I realized that I was pretty far behind my usual standard.

It took me most of today, but I finally have the menu drafted up and the recipes saved to my Google Drive.

Next step? Ingredient list making and grocery shopping!

Monday, November 2, 2015

DietBet Transformer: Month 1

Initial Weigh-In: 175.8
Beginning of Round 1 Weigh-In: 167.5 lbs
End of Round 1 Weigh-In: 162.0
Total Loss: 13.8
I solemnly promise to paint my toenails by the end of November.
Hooray! Still going strong despite a week of vertigo inhibiting my ability to be active, the rice from stir fry week carb-loading my diet and my husband (-.-) buying three enormous bags of candy for Halloween.


This has been my cooking bible since I started losing the Sarah-ate-too-many-grilled-cheeses weight. We've only made one miss (chicken piccata sauce, so bitter!) and the rest have all been hits. Or, well, let me rephrase that. I think the rest have all been hits and Eric says they still "taste light." Even so, it can't be that bad as we've eaten dinner together almost every night since I started cooking from the book. I actually like this cookbook so much, I'd recommend snagging a used copy for cheap off Amazon if you're interested.

I'm also toying with the idea of reviewing some of the recipes (complete with photos) for the blog. Maybe. That's a lot of work for someone with not a lot of time right now.

I started C25K using an app on my phone a couple weeks ago. I'm not progressing as quickly through it as I probably should be, but I've adopted a catch-as-catch-can attitude about exercise. I briefly considered buying a jogging stroller but then I remembered that I live in New England and winter is coming (apparently the Starks of Winterfell are also from New England). I had some serious sticker shock when I looked at the prices too, cripes! I guess I'll give it the winter before I decide whether or not I really want one. Cecilia hates to be contained (she's just gotta be able to move) and I'm not sure I'd enjoy pushing her in a jogging stroller while she is loudly expressing her displeasure with me.

Anyhow, now that you've made it to the end of this post, I will reward you with a (gratuitous) baby picture because this is my blog and I think she's cute.

Apples are tasty!

Friday, October 30, 2015

Cecilia and Mommy: 7 Months Old

This month has been amazing.
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Peace out Mom. I'm outta here.
Genuinely amazing. Cecilia is so much more interactive and she's learning new skills at a rate that I can barely wrap my head around. Two weeks ago, she sat up on her own while I wasn't looking. It was the first time she'd done it and the following day she did it repeatedly and with ease. I could almost see the tiny light bulb go off in her head. That very same week, I unintentionally demonstrated traditional crawling to her when I went to get something across the playroom. This is what happened after:
She's also started touching the texture spots in her That's Not My Panda book and opening the book to her favorite pages when I leave her alone in the playroom. This upcoming month is sure to be filled with many more skills, given how quickly she progressed in just this last month. I'm so excited to see what comes next.
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Hey Mom, did you know there's a big weird blue thing with owls behind me?
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I got it Mom! I got the big blue weird thing!
  • Pears
  • Mangoes
  • Eating mommy's nose (ugh babyyy whyyy)
  • That's Not My Panda
  • Peas on Earth - still
  • Making weird and often creepy noises
  • Crawling 
  • Sitting up on her own
  • Pulling herself up on everything
  • Hanging upside down in Mommy's arms - the world is funny upside down
  • Charlie - still
  • Almost all other foods besides pears - in her quest to do the opposite of my expectations, Cecilia hates most foods. Some days she's semi-interested in them, others she won't even open her mouth. My theory is that she will enjoy them more when she can feed herself. Or at least, I hope so.
  • Naps

Now I'm not saying this is going to happen, but I can finally see why people have more kids. After the initial baby hell, Cecilia is truly a joy. She is a sweet little baby with an adorable personality. It's so rewarding to watch her learn and progress that I can understand how someone might want to do it again.

Not any time soon though.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months
3 Months
4 Months
5 Months
6 Months

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


I went for a run on Saturday.
Requisite runner feet picture. Kinda.
It was more of a walk-run, since it was day one of my Couch-to-5K app, but nonetheless I went out and there was running involved for the first time since July 2014. I was unexpectedly home from work early yesterday, so I went out for day two of the C25K app.

I felt so awkward both times.

It's not necessarily that I've forgotten how to run, but more that I'm a lot more aware of my body and how it moves through space (i.e. proprioception) and possibly also that I feel rather inelegant, plodding along at approximately 38 pounds heavier than I prefer to be. The latter doesn't bother me all that much right now because I won't always be that much heavier.

But the former? That's a little harder for me. It was brought to my attention by multiple people that my knees frequently collapse inward (go Google "valgus knees" if you are really curious and have no idea what I'm talking about) when they should be tracking straight. It's more common in women and definitely a behavior that's reinforced by society. Correcting it requires me to think about and pay attention to it while I'm walking and running, which makes me feel weird, like I'm waddling.

If you're wondering why I care about something so seemingly small, the ultimate answer is that I want to be able to run and not get hurt. Gone are the days of me just heading out the door without giving an ounce of forethought how I actually move my body through space. Ignorance was bliss at the time, but two rounds of PT and several books by Katy Bowman later I know better.  Which means, I should do and be better no matter how awkward it makes me feel.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Cecilia and Mommy: 6 Months Old

I have a cute Cecilia story from this month, one I actually remember.

Cecilia hates her third nap. It's always a battle and she never falls asleep in the first ten minutes in her crib, so I always go in to comfort her. I had picked her up and we were sitting in the rocking chair, with my arms holding her arms at her sides. I'm sure this sounds like some horrible form of baby torture but if I let her have her arms free to grab at my hair, the rocking chair, the curtains, the pillow in the rocking chair she'll never calm down enough to nap.


Since all she could move was her head, she picked her little head up, stuck her nose to my nose, looked me in the eye and licked me then giggled. Since it was pretty funny, I laughed too, which only prompted her to do it again.

Perhaps she has a penchant for mischief in a cute form. I have no idea where she would get that. Nope, none at all.
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Sorry Mom, not really into this photo shoot today.

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But I guess I can give you a smile.

  • Bananas
  • Charlie - she still loves to watch and squeal him and he is very slightly less terrified of her.
  • Frankie the Fox
  • Peas on Earth - still!
  • Sipping from a cup - I'm also encouraging her interest in this pretty strongly, so that might be part of it.
  • Sitting in Mommy's lap, facing towards her. Mommy must be in sight at all times when she is home is Cecilia's latest life philosophy.
  • Holding out her arms while she's sitting. This is not to prompt the caregiver that she wants to be picked up, no, she wants to use your hands to pull herself to standing.
  • Crawling around her soon-to-be playroom
  • Attempting to eat Mommy's FitBit
  • Nap number #3 - BATTLE ROYALE.
  • Getting her shots - Sorry baby, but you have to have them. I know they suck, but it's better than getting polio.
Basic Baby Stats
  • Weight: 15lbs (+1 lb 10.5 oz)
  • Length: 26.5" (+1.5")
  • Head Circumference: 43.5 cm (+1 cm)

I feel so much more like my old self now. Both my memory and energy have mostly returned, which makes even a hard day with Cecilia not feel as awful as those first few weeks with her. It's nice to feel capable again.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months
3 Months
4 Months
5 Months

Monday, September 28, 2015

Diary of a DietBet: Final Weigh-In

Starting Weight:

Final Weigh-In:

Total Loss: 8.3

I haven’t written much in the last few weeks because a) I’ve been extra tired due to the increased activity level,  b) I’ve been focused on making good decisions and c) the small human has decided to wake up at 5AM on a regular basis. I also know that getting wrapped up in the day-to-day minutiae of losing weight isn’t good for my mindset. I get antsy and upset at the total amount of weight that I have to lose, and I just don't need that distracting me from my end goal. I'm pretty good at keeping my head down and chipping away at a task when it's something that I really want, and blogging daily actually interferes with that ability. So ultimately, this weight loss thing doesn't make for very interesting blogging. Sorry, not sorry.

So, obviously this DietBet is over, but I've already signed up for the 6-month/10% one starting on September 30th because I want to keep the momentum going. I'm confident in my abilities to win a portion of the end pot despite the next six months involving three very food-filled holidays. I'm tempted to do weekly updates but we'll see. I'm frequently too busy with life things to sit down and write about them.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Diary of a DietBet: Day Five

I had an entire Day in the Life post typed up in Google Keep, and much to my dismay, through some strange sequence of keys the entire thing just got deleted. I'm too tired and aggravated now to write up anything more than this. Argh!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Diary of a DietBet: Day Four

One of my biggest challenges, weight loss or maintenance, is meal planning. I frequently create overly complicated meal plans that require too much weeknight effort. Knowing this, I approached the menu for my first week of the Diet Bet a little differently than I have in the past. I came up with the following guidelines for menu planning:
  • One protein a week (chicken, pork, fish, etc.)
  • Four accompanying sauces to maintain variety each week
  • One serving of frozen veggies with each meal
  • Sous vide is the preferred method of cooking
  • Homemade Pizza Fridays because pizza, duh.
  • Protein has to be present in every major meal of the day.
This week is chicken week and so far I'm pretty pleased with how it's gone. I even impressed myself by making two of the sauces and starting the sous vide while being the designated baby caregiver. 

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Diary of a DietBet: Day Three

My most pressing question today was:

Why is the man on my Band-Aid container doing yoga? I don't really get it. Obviously they're trying to say that the fabric of these bandages is flexible but I look at it and think, "Are these Band-Aids for people who do yoga? Do people who do yoga frequently require these bandages?"

Anyhow, as you can probably guess, today was rather uneventful. I made it home in time to prep dinner, hang out with Cecilia and go to Zumba. The days that I work are easy though, we'll have to wait and see how Thursday goes. It's a lot harder to get steps and move around with her throughout the day.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Diary of a DietBet: Day Two

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I resent the fact that I have all this weight to lose. It's difficult to articulate why precisely I feel this way, but I'm pretty sure it stems from the fact that I was a giant stinking hypocrite about gaining weight while I was pregnant. I always told myself I wasn't going to let my pregnancy be an excuse to eat all the things, and yet, here I sit having done exactly that. It's one of those situations where I knew that I could and should have made better choices. I don't even need hindsight to tell me that; I knew during the pregnancy. I'm not looking for anyone to tell me that it's okay or whatever. I'm just acknowledging that I feel this way, allowing myself to feel that way and now I'll be able to move forward and get over it.

Cecilia and Mommy: 5 Months Old

I feel like I just wrote the 4 month post, but that's probably because it was a week late. Nap time has gotten a lot better this month and it's rarely a battle anymore. Night time remains excellent despite the occasional 4 a.m. wake-up but a bottle or some patience usually solves that. She's starting to fall into a pattern now, which makes everyone's lives a little easier.

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I like sitting up! I will smile about this!

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Really Mom? Really?

  • Rolling front to back - she rarely ever stays on her back and I would definitely say she has mastered this skill.
  • Sitting - she's not 100% stable yet and she can't get herself to a seated position but she loves being able to look around.
  • Trying to drink from Mommy and Grammy's water cups
  • Her teething ring
  • Crinkling paper with her little hands (magazines beware!)
  • Applesauce (kinda, sorta, maybe)
  • Peas on Earth
  • The lampposts in our driveway - I don't get it, they're not even lit when we walk by them but they are completely fascinating to her.
  • Licking her night light (babies be weird, man.)
  • Bath time (hooray!)
  • Charlie - she loves to laugh at him, but he basically looks like a moving stuffed animal so I get that.

  • Rolling front to back - this seems to startle her every time she does it.
  • Peas
  • Oatmeal (This is unacceptable to me.)
  • Being forced to stay on her back while her diaper is being changed

I finally feel like I'm myself again, albeit with 42 extra pounds. I started a DietBet with some of my coworkers yesterday for some extra motivation. Hopefully it won't suck as much as it did last time.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months
3 Months
4 Months

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Diary of a DietBet: Day One

Yup, this is a weekend post for the first time in ...forever? Ages? I have no idea and no one really cares anyhow. If anyone recalls, I did a DietBet just before I got pregnant with Cecilia and hated it the entire time. I'm in a bit of a different situation now, so here we go again, but with daily diary journals this time.

nom the baby, nom her.

Weigh-In: 175.8 (I winced when I wrote this out, ugh.)

Hunger is not an emergency is my mantra today.

Although, according to Cecilia it is but she's a baby so impulse control is not in her current repertoire of skills. She had a pretty rough day today. Which means I also had a pretty rough day, so I'm sitting here staring at the baby monitor as I type this, willing her to go to sleep (as if this ever works) and through the night. She needs it.

Eric and I do too.

I had more that I wanted to write about today, but all my thoughts have currently flown the coop. Perhaps tomorrow I will be more well-rested and more coherent.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Cecilia and Mommy: 4 Months Old

Nap time is still a crapshoot. Some days are better than others, but there's still not an ounce of regularity when it comes to duration. Fortunately bed time is pretty straightforward and she sleeps really well at night. We're talking 6PM - 6AM well here, and it makes life so much better.

I really need to start keeping better track of the cute little Cecilia stories I want to share because by the time I sit down to write this post, my brain is totally empty (more on that later).  All I know is that in the last couple of months, my Peanut has changed from a tiny little grump to a generally smiley and happy baby.
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Basic Baby Stats:
  • Weight: 13 lbs 5.5 oz (+2 lbs 9 oz)
  • Length: 25"  (+1")
  • Head Circumference: 42.5 cm (+2 cm)

  • Sleeping on her stomach, much to the dismay of her mother
  • Rolling over
  • Drinking from her bottles
  • Bath time - hooray! She doesn't hate it anymore!
  • Being held in a standing position in Mommy or Daddy's lap
  • Nap time - according to Cecilia this is the worst form of baby torture

It is absolutely amazing to me that I have any hair left on my head after this past month. I knew it was going to happen but I'm still shocked at the quantity of lost hair. I've been shedding worse than Charlie and he's a freaking dog. I'm constantly picking my hairs out of Cecilia's little hands and off of my clothes. I really hope it ends soon because I won't have any hair left if it doesn't.

When I was pregnant, I read about the forgetfulness phenomenon known as pregnancy brain. I never experienced this alleged pregnancy brain to the degree it's often described so I considered myself lucky. Now, mom brain, on the other hand has become a legitimate issue. I can't keep conversations that I've had with people in my head longer than the duration of the actual conversation unless it's important and I know that fact. I'm constantly asking myself if I told someone something, so if I'm quieter than usual, it's possible I'm trying to figure out if I told you something already.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months
3 Months

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Growing Peanut: Our Feeding Story

Disclaimer: I shouldn't really have to write this disclaimer but I'm going to anyhow. This post was extremely difficult for me to write. It's quite possibly the most difficult one that I have ever written but I needed to write it for the catharsis it provided. 

People get super Judgy McJudgersons about breast vs. bottle. I'm team full belly and you'll see why after I finish this, so if you're here to be one of those judgy, poopy pants people, go away. Seriously.

I've written this story out multiple times. I hated how each of them sounded when I read them to myself, so I'm just going to lay out the facts in as succinct a manner as I can.

I can't exclusively breastfeed Cecilia because I do not make enough milk. We've supplemented since day four and I've spent the last four months wrestling with my milk production. I've tried everything except prescription drugs because, frankly, I'm not willing to go that far. And now with my return to work, Cecilia gets more bottles so she realizes the bottles are the faster way to get her meal in and get back to play time.

I wanted to make it to six months. But with Cecilia refusing to nurse and me pumping every day to make a grand total of three 5-7 oz bottles of breast milk a week, it's just not going to happen. I've wrestled with the decision for a couple of weeks now, vacillating between sadness and excitement with a consistent undercurrent of guilt.

Does it suck that I didn't get the breastfeeding experience that I had hoped for and planned on?

You bet it did. Mourning the loss of the experience that I wanted was pretty difficult, but I'm grateful the one we had. I won't miss my pump though. Pumping is lame no matter how good the pump actually is.

Was my supply problem related to having PCOS and insulin resistance during puberty?

Maybe. It certainly seems the most likely culprit.

Can I ever know for sure?

Sure, if I wanted to slice open my boobs, I could know for sure. I don't want that so, no, I'll never know for sure. Besides it's not like I have a time machine to go back and tell myself not eat every food in sight and sit on my butt playing video games all day. Nor would I really want to. That would totally mess up the timeline and I might not even have Cecilia!

Monday, July 6, 2015

Cecilia & Mommy: 3 Months Old

Cecilia got a lot more fun this month. She's a smiley, happy and engaging baby when she's not tired. She loves to stare at everything, and pet new fabrics with her hands now. We even got a super cute giggle session on video! Unfortunately she still hates napping which means it's even becoming difficult to get her to nap in the Ergo. It's something we're going to be working on in the coming month.

She's been spending her days with her Grammy while I'm at work. Once she got past her initial stubbornness that someone besides me was feeding her, it worked out a lot better for both parties.
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Mom! There's a ceiling fan up there! It's amazing!
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Big smile for the camera!
  • Hanging out on her changing table and having cooing conversations with Mommy after her diaper has been changed
  • Eating breast milk, she's clearly developed a preference for breast milk over formula, can't say that I blame her
  • Being very smiley and happy in the morning
  • Staring and cooing at the toys on her play mat while mommy makes oatmeal in the morning
  • Being pulled to a sitting position and held there
  • Staring at everything intently
  • Touching Mommy's waffle knit t-shirt - I know babies like to experience different textures but she is super fascinated by that one shirt
  • Kicking Mommy's leg repeatedly while we wait for the bath tub to fill up

  • Napping in general - the world is too interesting, why would she want to sleep! 
  • Bath time
  • Swaddling - I've given up.

I'm back at work part time now. It's good and bad at the same time. I miss her during the days but then I realize I enjoy interacting with adult humans who say more than ah, eh, uh and oo. Plus, I like using my brain to solve complicated problems. I hate pumping though. A lot. It makes me want to give up on breastfeeding entirely, but I told myself I'd make it to the six month mark and gosh darnit, I'm going to.

Gee, I wonder where my daughter gets her persistence?

I'm actually finding it a little hard to lose weight because breastfeeding makes me extra hungry throughout the day. I also completely forgot to take a selfie for this month. Woops, sorry (not really, you know I hate them anyhow), I'm a huge slacker. Nothing's changed since last month anyhow. Honestly, I'm the boring half of this post right now, perhaps I'll have more to write about next month.

Previous Posts:
1 Month
2 Months