Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Growing Peanut: 7 months

Peanut Growth is now approximately 66% complete, and we're now in the home stretch. Some days it's hard to believe I've spent half a year pregnant; other days I wish it were March already because I just want to meet her. Plus, it'd be great to evict her so she stops massaging my bladder with her little hands every time it gets full. I love my little Peanut but that is an extremely creepy sensation and I would like it to stop.
Oof, there is definitely a baby in there now. 

In the past, I've read a lot of articles that wax poetic about how great pregnancy is, how fantastic you'll feel and all that blah-blah. I don't know how anyone managed to get so high off the pregnancy hormones because for me, at least, it's been pretty boring. The only difference is that I have a tiny human growing inside of me, I get winded going upstairs and I can't jump in Zumba. I haven't had any wild mood swings and I'm quite capable of doing 95% of what I can do when I'm not pregnant. I'm grateful, so grateful, for that fact because it means that we're a healthy pair, me and Peanut.

Lately, I've been daydreaming about what she'll be like when she gets here. Things that I wonder about now:
  • Will she have hair when she's born? Will it be brown?
  • Will her little eyes be brownish-blue like mine were?
  • Will she look more like her daddy at first?
  • How big will she be? (My obstetrician guesses 7lbs 6oz.)
  • Am I going to go stir crazy on maternity leave or will I love it?

It's starting to feel surreal that if Peanut is cooperative, we'll be bringing her home in ~12 weeks. My thoughts generally go like this:
We are going to have a baby. Holy sh!t! A TINY HUMAN that is completely dependent on us to care for her and teach her. That's slightly terrifying. No, that's really terrifying. But aww! Peanut! She's going to be so cute and ours. I'll get to dress her up, tote her around and snuggle her!
However, nowhere in the thought process do I become terrified, or even really frightened, of the birth aspect. I guess I just don't see a reason to infuse a natural process with fear of pain. I mean, yes obviously, it's going to hurt some but it's not like there isn't an end to it. And, honestly, I'd like everyone to keep their horror stories to themselves because just like everyone's pregnancy, the birth is going to be completely different.

6 months
5 months
4 months
First Trimester Recap

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The Nursery: Part Two - Prep Work & Painting

I'd originally planned to do all the prep work, trimming, painting and finishing details while Eric was in Vegas. I had this lovely idea in my head that between myself and my family we could get everything done while he was there and he'd come back to a beautiful room. He maintains there's no way we could have gotten it all done in a single weekend and he might be right. We'll never know for sure since he didn't go, and I can continue to pretend it was feasible.

Regardless, part one is complete. Work began on Black Friday and wrapped up this past Sunday, with everyone including my brother, my parents and Eric pitching in to get it done so quickly. The ceiling and closet walls got a fresh coat of ultra flat white, while the main walls are now bunny gray. I chose the bunny gray because I knew it would pair well with the leftover mountain peak white from the trim downstairs.

For the trim, I took one look at the mismatched baseboard on the long wall and knew that it had to come off. It's really not that hard to find a 16' piece of baseboard trim, so why a piece that was a quarter inch shorter needed to be poorly rigged to the preexisting taller piece is beyond me. I'm going to guess it was laziness or idiocy. Probably both.


I didn't feel like taking all the casing down this time, so I enlisted Nate to use liquid sandpaper/deglosser on it. It didn't seem to work as well as I'd hoped but I'll definitely try it again (in another room) myself when I'm not so full of baby.

As for what's left with basic room prep, there are only a couple of things. I have to figure out what to do about the main door; it's now a different shade of white than the trim surrounding it and it looks terrible. I also have to figure out how to handle the closet doors, but they're semi-functional (when installed) for now so I'm leaving it on the to-do list.

Part One: Design and Planning

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Bad Habit

Food is not a crutch.

Food is not a crutch.


If I just keep saying it,  maybe I will stop trying to eat every sweet thing in sight. I had an extremely aggravating day at work; complicated recursion problems entangled with a glaring overuse of global variables. If that sentence made no sense to you, just go with I'm really annoyed at the person who wrote this code because it is a gigantic disorganized mess. And I can't stand gigantic disorganized messes. I just can't. It makes me want to tear my hair out and/or eat lots of sweet treats.

I always thought I wasn't an emotional eater when I was losing the weight. I stupidly believed that because I didn't want to eat when I was sad, that meant I wasn't eating my emotions. I'm obviously an oblivious idiot sometimes. Frustration definitely qualifies as an emotion and it's the one I know drives me to the cookie jar...and the candy jar...and the chocolate peanut butter container.

I guess I'm sharing this right now because even though I've been pretty successful at maintaining my loss long term, it's always a challenge.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Growing Peanut: 6 months

I have little sausage fingers now. They're all puffy and occasionally a little achy. Sooo, it's not really surprising that my rings stopped fitting a couple weeks ago. I wanted to wear them on a necklace but I can't get over my (possibly irrational?) fear of the chain breaking. Then my rings would disappear into the nether, stolen by ring gnomes, who are closely related to the sock gnomes that will surely take up residency in my house when there are baby socks to steal. I plan to foil them by only purchasing one color of baby socks in giant packages.
24 weeks and I actually blew dry my hair this morning.

On the bright side of swelling and puffy things, my ankles and feet still look normal. Three (why do I have three? I don't know) of my pregnancy books say that that's a common side effect starting soon, but I'd like to think that the fact that I cannot sit still at work helps. I'm extremely fortunate to have a sit-stand station at work, and to have convinced a coworker to loan me a monitor stand. I can stand, sit in the chair or squat down onto the monitor stand whenever I feel the need to switch positions. And if there were an award for most trips in and out of my work area, I'd win it by a long shot. I have to pee every freaking 45 minutes, because someone decided she likes to kick me in the bladder.

I'm making sure that I get at least a half hour of walking in most days of the week, one to two Zumba classes and two Reformer classes in each week. If I don't get my walk in, I have an especially difficult time sleeping, so it's become that much more important. Plus, I'm pretty sure it helps me haul my ever larger body up and down the stairs at work without huffing and puffing.

As far as Peanut goes, she seems to enjoy throwing dance parties in my uterus at 3AM. Or maybe I just feel that way because it's the time I have to get up to pee every night now. She also likes to have dance parties after I've had some orange juice. Sometimes I'll drink the orange juice in the morning now because it's fun to feel the little dance party when I'm awake.

But other than the normal things I've already mentioned, I'm a pretty boring pregnant patient according to my doctor.

Boring is good.

Monday, December 1, 2014

That Post about the Weight Gain

I've opened and closed this post about eighty-trillion times because I really haven't been able to make my thoughts on this subject into anything that resembles coherence.  I'm going to try though, so bear with me.

Am I worried? A little bit and sometimes. I certainly don't think about it as much as I thought I would. I spend a lot more time focusing on what Peanut is doing in there. I eat when I'm hungry and so far that seems to be working. It doesn't help that I'm experiencing food swings instead of mood swings. I'll think I want something but by the time it's actually time to consume, I want nothing to do with it. This does not apply to my favorite lunch staple of grilled cheese though.

I pretty much always want grilled cheese.

Now that we're talking about grilled cheese, I totally want one. I think I need to do some research on making different grilled cheeses. Plus now, that it's on my mind, I think there's a Cheeseboy in the Natick Mall. Oh the possibilities. Sorry, this post wasn't meant to be about tasty cheese sandwiches.

I've gotten completely off topic. Let's try to get back to it.

So, yeah, I worry but then I remember I'm growing another human and not just getting fat.  I remember that I'm not mentally broken as I used to be; my mindset has completely changed from the before pictures and it has changed even more since the after pictures. Mostly, I think my self-efficacy outweighs the fear of the possibility of actual weight gain.  As such, even when I am concerned, it's not the overwhelming fear I felt after I first made goal weight.