Monday, December 1, 2014

That Post about the Weight Gain

I've opened and closed this post about eighty-trillion times because I really haven't been able to make my thoughts on this subject into anything that resembles coherence.  I'm going to try though, so bear with me.

Am I worried? A little bit and sometimes. I certainly don't think about it as much as I thought I would. I spend a lot more time focusing on what Peanut is doing in there. I eat when I'm hungry and so far that seems to be working. It doesn't help that I'm experiencing food swings instead of mood swings. I'll think I want something but by the time it's actually time to consume, I want nothing to do with it. This does not apply to my favorite lunch staple of grilled cheese though.

I pretty much always want grilled cheese.

Now that we're talking about grilled cheese, I totally want one. I think I need to do some research on making different grilled cheeses. Plus now, that it's on my mind, I think there's a Cheeseboy in the Natick Mall. Oh the possibilities. Sorry, this post wasn't meant to be about tasty cheese sandwiches.

I've gotten completely off topic. Let's try to get back to it.

So, yeah, I worry but then I remember I'm growing another human and not just getting fat.  I remember that I'm not mentally broken as I used to be; my mindset has completely changed from the before pictures and it has changed even more since the after pictures. Mostly, I think my self-efficacy outweighs the fear of the possibility of actual weight gain.  As such, even when I am concerned, it's not the overwhelming fear I felt after I first made goal weight.