Monday, August 9, 2010


I've been extremely tired lately. Tired of running and tired of working.  I am constantly feeling like my work is not enough, that I should be able to get more done in a day. That I shouldn't have all these stupid little fuck-ups in the code.

I know some of you will read this and think I take things too personally. Maybe I do, maybe I don't, it's just how I am. I place a lot of pride in the results of my work and lately I can't produce high quality results like I want to. It galls me; it leaves me feeling aggravated. I've tried organizing my tasks but it's difficult to organize things that just pop up out of nowhere. I want a vacation but I seem to have squandered 59 of my allotted 120 hours somehow. Not real sure where they went but they're gone.

My food intake was all over the place last week. I barely recorded 3 out of 7 days, and I am positive I ate way too much on those days I didn't record. It feels like slipping back into my old ways.

I had a really shitty run today too. Scheduled to do 4 miles, but I couldn't even make it past the 3 mile mark. It was hot, humid and disgusting. I had to stop at the park and douse myself in water to even be able to cool down a little bit.

Hopefully things will brighten up a little bit later on this week.  I'm not counting my chickens though, since the work forecast is shitty and that has a tendency to pervade my entire daily attitudes.